World Mental Health Day was on Saturday the 10th October. I’d like to touch base and check in with everyone and see where they are at.
As we turn into adults, life sometimes gets in the way of checking in on others and even in on ourselves. Life Happens, Shit Happens, and people get busy. I get it.
One bad habit I formed as an adult being busy all the time was that when I went to call one of my friends, I’d think it’s probably a bad time. I won’t annoy them now because they are most likely, at work, feeding their kids, spending time with their partner, at sport etc etc.. I was so conscientious and caring of my friend’s time I would make the decision for them that they had no time to talk to me at that very moment.
Then one day something shifted, and I just called. As we got talking, she said she also never called because she thought it was probably the wrong time as well. How silly it seems that we make decisions for people without letting them in on it and ironically by doing this and not calling we know less and less about the actual situations that our friends are in. I’d missed a lot because I’d not wanted to annoy and occupy her time when in retrospect, she’d really needed it.
From that day on I decided to and now tell all my friends, when I think of you and have time I’ll call, if you’re busy you don’t need to answer, you can call me back when you get a chance. I won’t be offended. I won’t take it personally and vice versa; you do the same. Let’s not make the decision for each other that our time isn’t going to align. Let’s remind each other that we are still there for one another even if it is just by leaving a message.
I also made it very clear that yes, I’m busy and all over the place but if you need me let me know. I’ll make time for you. Ultimately, I think we sometimes expect that people will remember that but unless we continue to touch base and reinforce it sometimes it potentially closes that door a bit. That ease to reach out.
With some of my friends it becomes a Tag your It, phone game. With others, I’ve caught them and talked for hours at times when I’d never have bothered previously due to my own preconceptions of their schedules.
The other day another busy friend messaged me and said “hey I’ll be driving home tonight and are you about if I call you? It will probably be late.”
My reply was “Call. I may or may not answer” She wasn’t offended in fact she wrote back. F..k I love our friendship 😊😊😊😊
Even with lockdown where we have been forced to slow down, it’s easy to be moving in different directions or by-passing people you who mean a lot to you. The thought of picking up the phone or texting sometimes pops into our head then pops out again.
So as soon as it pops in do it.
Don’t second guess yourself and others. Just Do It. Reach out and reap the rewards.